Here I was again. In my room. On my bed. Crying. Why? Because of her. Urabe Rika. She never really did anything to me, except make me love her. And that, was taboo in my family. Imagine what the news would say if I actually made a move. "Zaizen Touko, daughter of the prime minister is confirmed a lesbian?" No, I'm not lesbian. Matter a fact, I happen to like both guys and girls, since I used to be obsessed over Endou. I was already fed up with all the paparazzi crap with Zaizen Touko a Tomboy?! Could she end up being a lesbian?
I haven't heard from her in two weeks, either. It drove me nuts and whenever I got a call or text, I would get a little happier, only to be let down and find out it is someone else. I would roll around my bed, holding the stuffed octopus she gave to me for my 14th birthday, wondering if she was mad at me. Songs I would listen to, pics on the internet, even when I'm outside and I see couples with each other, I would think about her, wishing she was here with me. Of course, I could always demand she come here this instant. I am the prime minister's daughter after all. But I won't, because I love her and I don't ever want to see her sad. In fact, I did everything I could for her. I would make videos, draw, get her things on vacation, anything to try to get her to notice just a little bit. But of course, Rika was as oblivious as always.
Whenever we would text each other, I would always say "I love you" to her, and she would say the same thing. But I had no idea if she felt the same. Rika would be at my house. We would be in my room. On the same bed. Me laying my head on her chest. But did she say anything? No. When she left, her scent would stay in my room, and I would enjoy it as much as possible until it was gone. Seems a little creep-ish, no? I feel like I'm rambling to myself. But I can't help it. I want her so badly!(And don't even get me started about the dreams I have!)
"Ojou-sama? Are you alright? You seem a bit depressed." It was Tateno Mai. I was aware that she had some feelings for Hitomiko Kira, and that they could be going out, but I wasn't sure.
"*sigh* I'm fine Mai. Please leave me alone."
"Now I really know somethings up, Ojou-sama. And it's my duty to protect you and keep you safe. So tell me"
"No! I don't want to!" I yelled back. There were tears streaming down my face as I realized what I have done. What if that was Rika? "Mai, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked like that to you."
"It's ok Ojou-sama. I understand. It's Rika, no?"
"H-How did you know?"
"Easy, you're holding the plushie."
I looked down at my arms, and there it was, the little red octopus. I looked back at Mai and sighed. "All right, Mai. You were right. It's about Rika"
"A-ha! So what about her?"
"Um...uh......well.....uh...oh! I have an idea!" I didn't want to tell her directly, so I just grabbed my ipod and put on the song "Magnet" by Hatsune Miku&Megurine Luka. We both listened until it finished. "Now do you understand, Mai?"
"Ya..I do. I know it is gonna be hard to deal with the paparazzi and shit like that, Ojou-sama. But ya know what, it seems like you really love her."
"ha ha! It's ok! Ya know what, Ojou-sama? You should go and call her over so you guys can hang out"
"Ok." I opened my phone and hit her speed dial number. As it was ringing, I saw Mai walk away. I manged to quickly say, "Hey Mai, Thanks"
"No problem Ojou-sama, anytime."
I called her five times. No answer. I texted her twenty times. No answer. I then sighed and opened my laptop. I had an idea. If not by phone, then by internet! I e-mailed Rika. It looked a little like this:
Rika? Rika? Where are u? Are you still alive or did you die on me. Because I've been trying to contact you for days on end and you are not replying! It's driving meh insane!! Do you hate me or what! Because whenever u say "I love u" u never mean it right? I mean really? I remember hearing somewhere that saying "I love u" without meaning it could be pretty bad to a relationship of any kind. So lemme ask u, do you really hate me? I still love u and would do anything 4 u anytime. I will alwayz love u, even if u want to kill me.
I then hit send. The second after I did that, I regretted it.
Two days. Three days. One week. No reply. I sent an apology. No reply. Eight days later. I finally get something from her. It said that she lost her phone and was using her mom's work computer(which crashes a lot). From what it said, I believed her. I replied back. And I waited. And waited. And waited. Two weeks later. Nothing.
Nothing. Just like our relationship. It means nothing to her. And as much as I want to pin her down on the bed and tell her then and there while stealing her first kiss, I won't. Because I'm not like that. Because I can't.